It is becoming clear that in order for us to reach our young people we need to make apologetics more relational. The old way of lecturing and preaching left no time for an extended question and answer period. Well intentioned teachers would walk away from the podium thinking that they had just imparted the wisdom of God when in reality they had just turned their back on an auditorium full of young people with raised hands wanting to know why that wisdom looked like foolishness to the rest of the world. We tried to distract them by making youth groups fun and entertaining but sadly the Gospel was drowned out by the bells and whistles. We need to once again rethink the way we approach our precious young people because relationships are not about pizza and a game of Hacky Sack but about the Bread of Life and the extreme sport of working out one’s faith with fear and trembling.

Apologetics ultimately boils down to a two-way conversation. It’s not about answering the questions that we think they are asking but letting them ask the questions that they are really thinking. True relationship is less about talking and more about listening. Our intentions may be good because we are so excited about what Jesus has done for us but we need to remember that He may be doing something completely different for them. Our cultural struggles are not their cultural struggles, our answers may not be their answers, so if we want them to learn from our mistakes we must also be willing to walk them through theirs.

Relationship formation is an art, so if we want to create something beautiful for God then we need to begin by taking our subject seriously. We need to become patrons of the art of conversation. We must not paint our young people into a corner but rather allow them to take out their own brush and create a personal portrait. Every moment of listening provides an opportunity for one more brush stroke to be applied. If we allow them to paint their own masterpiece then they will be more likely to give us permission to ask them about their inspiration and their use of color and texture. Salvation art takes time so we must never get impatient and grab the brush from their hands. We must allow them to express themselves, because if we don’t, then we will end up daubing in the details for them and the final product will end up looking like a cheap forgery.

Despite our best intentions we have handed our children a paint-by-number faith. We have forced them to use colors of our own choosing and warned them to not paint outside the lines. We have given them a pallet of black and white even though they have been going through their blue period. We have made their faith so superficial that when they leave home and exhibit it in the cultural gallery it looks like a Velvet Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker. Instead of being admired, it ends being mocked by their avant garde college friends. As parents, teachers, and pastors, we need to make sure that our young people leave home with a faith that is an original masterpiece and not youth group kitsch.

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal…But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” (C.S. Lewis)

C.S. Lewis said you have never talked to a mere mortal. I would also suggest that you have never had a conversation with a mere coloring book… But it is masterpieces whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal Screams or everlasting Starry Nights.

We need to remember that we evangelize not weary Warhols but rather remarkable Rembrandts. If God individually knit us together in our mothers’ wombs then the least we can do is appreciate His stitch work. We need to admire each and every unique tapestry and refrain from making blanket generalizations.

The motivation for evangelism should not be about falling in love with the sound of our own voice but about bringing more vocal nuance to the heavenly choir. If we want to grow the Kingdom it will be through the art of the conversation and not the art of the deal.

Photo by Jack Finnigan on Unsplash