Art of Conversation
It is becoming clear that if we want to reach our young people, we need to make apologetics more relational. The old approach of lecturing and preaching left little room for an extended question-and-answer period. Well-intentioned teachers would deliver their talks and then walk away from the podium thinking they had just imparted the wisdom of God, when in reality, they had prematurely turned their backs on an auditorium filled with young people with hands raised, wanting to know why that wisdom appeared foolish to the rest of the world. We tried to shield them from hard questions by making youth groups fun and entertaining, but sadly, the Gospel was drowned out by noisy gongs and clanging cymbals. We need to reconsider how we engage our precious young people because eating pizza and playing hacky sack is a far cry from receiving the Bread of Life and participating in the extreme sport of working out one’s faith with fear and trembling. Sadly, because we didn’t given them our all, they turned out to be “nones.”
Apologetics ultimately comes down to a two-way conversation. It’s not about answering the questions we think they are asking; it’s about allowing them to ask the questions they are truly thinking. A genuine relationship is less about talking and more about listening. Our intentions may be good because we are excited to share what Jesus has done for us, but we must remember that He may be doing something entirely different for them. Our cultural struggles are not their cultural struggles; our answers may not be their answers. Therefore, if we want them to learn from us, we must be willing to listen to them.
Relationship formation is an art. If we want to create something beautiful for God, we must take our subject seriously. We need to become patrons of the art of conversation. Instead of painting our young people into a corner, we must allow them to take out a brush and create a faith self-portrait. Every question they ask adds more color to their palette and more nuance to their work. By engaging in conversation, we invite them into our gallery where they can learn the proper use of color and texture. Salvation art takes time, so we must never become impatient and snatch the brush from their hands, and then paint it for them. We must allow them to express themselves, because if we don’t, the final product will look more like a cheap forgery sold in a Christian bookstore than a masterpiece of faith suitable for public exhibition.
Sadly, despite our best artistic intentions, we often hand our children a paint-by-number faith. We compel them to use colors of our choosing and caution them not to paint outside the lines. We give them a palette of black and white, even when they are going through their blue period. We make their faith so superficial that after they leave home and display it in the cultural gallery, they are mocked by their avant-garde college friends for creating a Velvet Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker. As parents, teachers, and pastors, we must ensure that our young people have a faith that is an original masterpiece, not youth group kitsch.
C.S. Lewis said you have never talked to a mere mortal:
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal…But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” (C.S. Lewis)
I would also suggest that you have never had a conversation with a mere coloring book… But it is masterpieces whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal Screams or everlasting Starry Nights.
We must remember that we are shepherding remarkable Rembrandts, not weary Warhols. If God individually knitted us together in our mothers’ wombs, the least we can do is appreciate His stitch work, because the power of our witness will be as unique image-bearing tapestries, not generic Christian welcome mats.
If we want to grow the Kingdom, it will be through the art of conversation, not the art of the deal.
God's Screenplay 